Damn, Choose You

Yeah, I know this blog has started out a little hot. It’s because I’m saying the title with my chest!

Have you ever had a season of being frustrated with someone you see so much good in? Great abilities. Super talents. But they won’t choose themselves.

High performers, let me say this (and as my Pastor E says, I’m in the front row with you): we cannot be so worried about others choosing themselves that we end up abandoning ourselves. Whew, chile. Say it loud for the people in the back!

This current season of shifting, bobbing, and weaving through menopause has given me more than enough on my own plate. So listen. I want you to choose you. But if you’re gonna play about it, I’m gonna run on with my meal preps, my strength training, my good sleep, my patch and my supplements, and do my BAM (Bust A Move) Thang! But for real? Come with!

It’s exhausting trying to get everyone else to make their selection of themselves. So we’re not gonna worry about that anymore. We’re going to CHOOSE OURSELVES.

What “Choose You” Actually Means

Let’s clear something up. Choosing you is not selfish. It’s not quitting your job, ghosting your family, or leaving your responsibilities on the curb. And it’s not one big dramatic moment either.

Choosing you is a daily decision, made over and over, in five places: your work, your health, your rest, your play, and your joy.

And Maven, for many of us, this season comes with a plot twist. Perimenopause and menopause have entered the chat, and our bodies are rewriting the rules. Pretending they aren’t is not a strategy. So let’s get into it. Come with!

Choose Your Work

You are not your output. Your work is something you do, not the whole of who you are. And no, I’m not telling you to stop working. I’m telling you to stop letting your to do list decide your worth.

How to choose you at work:

• Own your expertise out loud. Retire “I just.” You don’t “just” run the department. You run the department.
• Ask for the thing. The raise. The resources. The help. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
• Guard your best hours. Give your sharpest time to your most important work, not to everybody else’s emergencies.

Choose Your Health

This one is personal, so I’m going to say it plainly: “It’s just aging” is not a care plan.

Perimenopause and menopause can show up as sleep disruption, brain fog, hot flashes, mood shifts, joint aches, and more. Too many high performing women push through quietly because we’re used to handling everything. Not this time.

How to choose you in your health:

• Advocate, don’t apologize. You are not being dramatic. You are being informed.
• Track your symptoms. Notes app, journal, whatever works. Patterns get taken seriously. “I just don’t feel like myself” too often gets brushed off.
• Find a provider who is knowledgeable about menopause. The Menopause Society offers a directory of certified practitioners. You deserve someone who knows this season.
• Build your strength. Strength training is widely recommended in midlife for bone and muscle health. And great for mental
• health! Maven it helps calm ‘that rage’!
• Fuel on purpose. Meal prep is a gift to future you on her busiest day. I’ve come to like the results of it helping the scale move down!

Choose Your Rest

Rest is not a reward you earn after everything is done. Because, Maven, everything is never done.

How to choose you in your rest:

• Protect your sleep like it’s a meeting with your biggest client. Set a wind down time and honor it. Mine is 8:30 PM
• Schedule real pauses, not just collapses. Take The Divine Pause™: create deliberate distance from the noise and chaos so you can hear what actually matters. That includes what you need.
• Stop wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor. Maven, tired is not a personality.

Choose Your Play

Play isn’t childish. It’s how you remember who you are outside of your titles, your roles, and everybody’s expectations. Is fun on your calendar on purpose? If your answer is “I’ll get back to you,” we have work to do.

How to choose you in your play:

• Put fun on the calendar. Literally. In ink.
• Try something you’re bad at, just for the joy of it.
• Find your BAM (Bust A Move) Thang. Dance in the kitchen. Take the class. Move your body because it feels good.

Choose Your Joy

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it: joy isn’t frivolous. Joy is not a bonus you collect when life finally calms down. It’s a decision you make right in the middle of it.

How to choose you in your joy:

• Notice what lights you up this week, then do more of it.
• Stop waiting for permission to enjoy your own life.
• Keep a receipts file. Log your wins and read it on the hard days.

#Maventalk

Maven, you can’t make anybody choose themselves. You can only choose you. So do it with your whole chest. Your work, your health, your rest, your play, your joy. All of it. And if somebody wants to come with? There’s room. But we’re not waiting.

Ready to Choose You?

If you’re ready to choose you and want a strategy partner for this season, book a conversation with me.

Lead Well. Live Well. Maven

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