How Women Can Navigate Corporate Mentorship  – Episode 25

How Women Can Navigate Corporate Mentorship – Episode 25

IN THIS EPISODE:

Our guest, Gina Cano shares her journey in the tech industry and the importance of support and networking for black and brown women. She emphasizes the need to ask for help and take risks, even when it feels uncomfortable. Gina also discusses the value of investing in personal development and finding a balance between work and personal life. She highlights her role at Dell, where she focuses on ESG and sustainability, and her commitment to inspiring the next generation of women in tech.

Key Focus Areas:

  • 00:34 Gina’s Entry into Technology
  • 02:55 The Power of Networking and Mentorship
  • 10:15 Personal and Professional Development
  • 16:37 Achieving Work-Life Harmony

Listen To This Episode:

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Embracing Opportunities: The Path to Success in Tech for Black and Brown Women​

In a world where technology shapes our everyday lives, black and brown women are making strides, breaking barriers, and leaving indelible marks in the tech industry. The recent episode of ‘Success with Saneness’ featuring Gina Cano, a tech leader at Dell, offered valuable insights into navigating the tech landscape as a woman of color. Here are three key takeaways from her journey that can inspire and guide aspiring professionals in the tech industry.

The Power of Curiosity and Continuous Learning

Gina’s journey into the tech world began in high school with a simple computer class that ignited her curiosity. This curiosity evolved into a passion for technology, underscoring the importance of continuous learning and development in one’s career. For many women of color in tech, the journey starts with a spark of interest that grows into a burning flame. Embracing every learning opportunity, from formal education to hands-on experiences, is crucial. It’s about being open to new ideas, staying updated with industry trends, and never underestimating the value of every educational experience, whether in a classroom or a retail store.

Navigating the Landscape: Networking and Mentorship

Gina emphasized the importance of networking and finding mentors in her rise through the tech ranks. Networking is not just about building a list of contacts but about forming meaningful connections that can provide guidance, support, and opportunities. For black and brown women in tech, building a strong network can be a game-changer. It’s about seeking out individuals who inspire you, joining professional groups, attending industry events, and engaging in communities that align with your career goals. Mentorship can provide direction and open doors that might otherwise remain closed. A mentor can be a sounding board, a guide, and a beacon, helping navigate the often challenging waters of the tech industry.

Investing in Self and Embracing Challenges

Gina’s story is a testament to the power of self-investment and resilience. Investing in oneself – whether through education, personal development, or self-care – is essential. It’s about recognizing your worth, understanding your potential, and giving yourself the tools and time to grow. This self-investment is particularly vital for women of color, who often face unique challenges in the tech industry. Embracing these challenges and viewing them as opportunities for growth can lead to personal and professional development. In conclusion, Gina Cano’s journey in the tech industry is a beacon of inspiration for black and brown women aspiring to carve their paths in this dynamic field. Her success story is built on a foundation of curiosity, continuous learning, strategic networking, mentorship, and a strong commitment to self-investment and resilience. These pillars not only guide aspiring tech professionals but also serve as a reminder that with passion, determination, and the right support, the glass ceiling can indeed be shattered. To all the aspiring black and brown women in tech, remember: your journey is unique, and your contributions are invaluable. Embrace every opportunity to learn, connect, and grow. The tech world needs your perspective, creativity, and innovation. Your journey may not be easy, but it will undoubtedly be worth it.

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Gain access to three valuable videos designed to empower you in breaking free from the hustle culture and establishing your unique Balanced Rhythm™ for work-life equilibrium. Whether you’re a dynamic executive professional or a successful entrepreneur, these videos will equip you with the tools to develop a life strategy that places you firmly in the driver’s seat. Opt-in now to unlock this transformative content with  3 MOVES TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS WITH SANENESS!

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Get Connected with Maven Miara

Are you a dynamic female executive or women entrepreneur craving proven business growth strategies and leadership success? Do you yearn for more fulfilling work-life balance? Are you seeking unwavering leadership confidence as you navigate the complexities of life, all while maintaining your holistic well-being (spiritual, physical and mental)? Welcome to ‘Success with Saneness. This transformative personal development podcast is designed exclusively for high-performers who seek to excel in both their professional and personal lives with balance. Each episode features expert insights and thought-provoking discussions about building unshakable leadership confidence, business growth and designing harmony among them. Join your host, “Maven” Miara, a professional speaker, business strategist, leadership development facilitator and author. Embark on an enlightening journey towards success with saneness, where holistic care, confidence building, and leadership unite. To find out more, join the Maven Nation community by visiting miarashaw.com. Reach out to Maven Miara at: hello@miarashaw.com Website: miarashaw.com  /  Episode Website LinkedIn: @miarashaw  /  Instagram: @mavenmiara  /  YouTube: @mavenmiara

'Maven' Miara Shaw (00:01.714)
All right, Gina, listen, that was an amazing intro. Let's jump into talking about these guiding lights. We briefly talked, you and I, about the importance of black and brown women, all women, but more so we're focused on black and brown women of getting that support they need along these career journeys. So let's start out a little bit talking about how did you get your start in tech?

And really how has that led you to where you are right now with Dell?

Gina Cano (00:34.999)
Oh, thank you for having me. And that is a great, great question. And you know, my story, my journey into tech is probably one that many have, especially black and brown, but maybe we just don't share it enough to talk about it, right? So if I take back to when I first got into technology, it was probably when I was in high school, right? So this was many, many years ago. I still can't believe it's been that long.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (00:50.348)
Okay.

Gina Cano (01:04.151)
I took a computer class, right? It wasn't, I think before computer class, it was typing classes. Well, I actually took a computer class and I got introduced to the worldwide web. And I learned how to chat and we were chat or emailing chat, whatever the protocol was then I was just in awe. Like, this is the coolest thing that I've ever seen. I was talking to somebody at the time.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (01:09.483)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (01:17.037)
Okay.

Gina Cano (01:28.767)
I lived in Beeville, Texas, and I think I was talking to someone in Gregory, Portland, which was about maybe 45 minutes away. I was like, wow. And I'm not on a phone, like doing a phone call. I'm actually chatting with them. So I thought that was the coolest thing. So then I really had an interest, but growing up in a small town like Beeville, Texas, technology isn't, you know, something that you don't want to pursue, right? You see the standard, oh, he can be a teacher or a principal, fireman, police person.

work at the grocery store and things like that, right? If I look at my family, my dad didn't get to finish school. He's a general contractor and has done very well for himself. My mom was a homemaker. The rest of my family, nobody was in tech. So where was I gonna go? So I moved to Houston from Beeville after I graduated. I moved to Houston and I had some different jobs there. Then when I worked at Best Buy, I got into selling, right? I found out I can sell. I'm really good at.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (02:14.882)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (02:24.878)
Okay.

Gina Cano (02:27.087)
I have the gift of gab, if you will, so I can talk to a wall. It's a, I started selling and because I was so successful at selling appliances, I have no background in the plan. I didn't know what it was, but I could sell. They put me in computer hardware. So as soon as I got into the computer hardware, again, I'm not strong in this area, I didn't know what computers really were other than my short stint in high school, chatty, right? That was the extent of it. That's when I realized, wow.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (02:40.27)
Okay.

Gina Cano (02:55.555)
This is what I really like. So through my team that I had there, they started teaching me how to replace a memory stick. Right? How do I update software? How do I install an operating system? Which got me more and more and more intrigued. Fast forward. I start taking some certifications. I got my MCFC. I got my Cisco certification. I ended up getting a job at Geotronics, my first call center job, which then got me the network. Networking is key.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (03:03.438)
Wow.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (03:24.76)
Yes?

Gina Cano (03:24.995)
Made my friends, started making networking then, ended up working at Compec, which then changed to HP, which then fast forward or now rewind 19 years ago, got an opportunity here at Dell and I've been here ever since. So it all started because of a class that I took that sparked an interest that said, hey, this is really cool. This is something I wanna learn more of, which I continue to pursue, right, to do that.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (03:51.682)
I love that. I love that. And listen to all the moms that are watching this. It is important to, to let your students figure it out. You know, just because no one in your family's done it. Gina had that experience. I had the same experience. No one in my family had gone in a natural gas and was a trader. When I said I worked at Chevron, they asked if I worked at the gas station. I'm like, no, not.

Gina Cano (04:16.98)
No.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:17.506)
Not quite, not quite. But letting kids explore that because, you know, when I look back on my own journey, all of these different steps were navigating me to the place I needed to be for my future. Now I didn't know that. I'm sure you didn't know that. But what has that type of, and you touched on networking, what should a woman know that is

Gina Cano (04:31.77)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:44.582)
maybe in a role, maybe she's already in the corporate space. She's a bit frustrated that she's, she feels like she's stuck in a particular level. She doesn't have a mentor. She doesn't have a sponsor. What? And really trusting her skills, right? You know, women, and this is not me making up stuff. Studies show this women, we want all of the ducks in a row completely lined out before we take the step and men traditionally.

like are missing a lot of ducks and they're like, I can do it. Pick me taking that, that thought and applying networking. What, what do women, what would you suggest that women do that you are in the corporate space or even as entrepreneurs that want to keep going, maybe they're a little afraid and they don't have those connections they think they need right now.

Gina Cano (05:37.463)
Yeah, no, that is something on all of the different individuals I mentor and coach. Specifically, I focus a lot of my energy on women, especially Black and Brown, is where a lot of my interest is. And I would say the number one thing is you will always get a no for the questions you don't ask, right? Period. And networking, yes, it's going to be there, right? I guarantee, I could, there's one thing I can guarantee.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:49.25)
Hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:59.002)
That's gonna be tweetable.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:04.034)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (06:07.243)
is that you will always get a no for the questions that you don't ask, right? You have to go out there. And being vulnerable to ask those questions can be intimidating because culturally speaking, especially for women, we are supposed to just kind of stay quiet in the background. You're not supposed to go ask for help. We're not supposed to go do a lot of things. It was probably, and I fell a lot into that too, right? We're not supposed to do this.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:10.051)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:26.434)
Right.

Gina Cano (06:32.995)
But when I started networking and finding mentors, and I didn't know they were mentors at the time, it was just people I would talk to, right? I was looking for people to talk to. I didn't realize that I was gaining knowledge from them because that's what a mentor does, right? I was just like, what do you think about this? You're like, oh, why can't I do this, right? So what we can sometimes consider like your girlfriend talk and you're just, you know, mingling and having a conversation with, you could actually learn a lot from there.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:40.226)
Okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:47.319)
Right.

Gina Cano (07:01.171)
I also had to be aware of not falling into the negative echo chambers of allowing that to consume me. Right? So there's been a lot of investment in myself to get comfortable and being uncomfortable, finding the people that had similar or different, but similar in the sense that they were not just trying to be, I don't like this, this isn't the right thing, but rather I don't like this. What do I need to do differently? Right? So I started surrounding myself with that. So I would encourage all women.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (07:13.954)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (07:30.543)
to surround yourself with people that are thinking the same or are thinking a little differently but have the same goals to move forward. Different industries, that's fine, but you still wanna move forward, you wanna develop yourself. And finding a sponsor. There's a clear difference between mentors and sponsors. Mentors, yeah, mentors are gonna help guide you, give you that sounding board, you're gonna gain nuggets of knowledge.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (07:49.166)
Let's break that down.

Gina Cano (07:56.079)
How do I solve this or how should I approach that? Whatever that is, right? So think of them as that development to help you go. Your sponsors are making sure that your name is in every conversation, even when you're not in the room, when you're not there. That sponsor is advocating for you. If you're in corporate world, they may hear of an opportunity in another organization. You might wanna consider Gina for that role because she has this skill, she has this background.

they're going to help connect the dots for you, right? Mentors in some capacity do that, but that's not their primary focus. You need a sponsor that is purposely and intentionally going out there and advocating for you. So I think the biggest thing I would say to all women if you're doing this is get comfortable being uncomfortable. You are always going to get a no if you don't ask the questions and just go ask. And you're never ever going to be 100% ready for any role that you take. Any, whether you're in a professional corporate world,

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:30.594)
Right.

Gina Cano (08:53.943)
or you're trying to start your own business, I can guarantee you do not have 100% of everything and you never will, and that's okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (09:01.378)
I love that. And I love that you broke down around the sponsorship because you can almost say mentorship can almost be informal. Someone you work with that's maybe in management or a higher level, and you just have conversations with them. They welcome it very friendly. You need to be very intentional about your sponsor. You need to make sure you're having a conversation with them so they are aware and you guys are in agreement. I'm looking at you to be my sponsor. So they are very aware of that. And again, women.

You have to take that actionable step. And even if that person says, I don't think I'm the right person. Ask them for, well, who do you think would be a good person for me? Keep asking those questions. Here's something I want to touch on. You, you, you talked about making the investment and getting on moving away from being so uncomfortable, right? What did that investment look like for you? And what would you suggest for a woman?

maybe who's never had coaching, any type of formal mentorship, you know, mastermind, what does that look like for a woman that maybe is getting ready to look at moving into the executive level?

Gina Cano (10:15.275)
Oh, that's a great one. I think back to like, when did I really make that decision to invest in myself, right? So throughout my journey, I've made investments by going to school, the certifications, but that was a different level of investment. I'm gonna say during the pandemic, is I had a lot of time on my hands, like probably many of you listening, couldn't go anywhere, couldn't do anything. So I'm hanging out at home and I really started to reflect and think to myself, well,

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:34.314)
Yes. Right.

Gina Cano (10:42.499)
What do I want to do next? You know, what do I want to be when I grow up, right? As I continue to think through it. And I was frustrated because I felt stuck. Like many, many of you that are listening to this, you just feel stuck. Like what, what am I doing or not doing? Why can I seem to get past this level? Right. Why do I, you know, why do I keep doing this? And they tell me I need to be one, two, and three, and I've done one, two, three, four, and five, you know, what is it? So.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:46.582)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:56.352)
Right.

Gina Cano (11:11.411)
I sensed it and I recognized that I was extremely frustrated. And this wasn't something that a mentor was able to help me with. I got some nuggets of information. I even had my sponsors. I didn't have as many then as I do now, but it just wasn't right. So I went in on LinkedIn and there's a tool that's within LinkedIn that you can actually look for coaches. You can actually hire for coaches or.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (11:23.767)
Okay.

Gina Cano (11:39.403)
any other kind of mentors. I mean, there's different skills out there. So I put in a request and say, you know what? I'm just gonna go check it out. Right? And I talked to a few different people. And that's when I realized this, I was talking with them and hearing the services that these professionals like yourself offer for coaching and development. Basically, you're there to help us get out of our own way. Right? You really are helping us get out of our own way. That's...

'Maven' Miara Shaw (11:56.923)
Mm-hmm. OK.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (12:02.411)
Yeah.

I say that all the time.

Gina Cano (12:07.287)
You know, after I met with my coach, he's fantastic, Stephen English, and he helped me see so much, right? I was like, oh, wow. The little voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough, that famous imposter syndrome that you have to fight. We named my little voice. His name is Booger. And sometimes when Booger comes up, I'm like, look, Booger, I appreciate it. I, but no, it's, you need to stay quiet because I need to move forward. Right. So was I.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (12:29.783)
right now.

Gina Cano (12:37.235)
Hesitant at first? Absolutely. Right. Because let's be honest, it's not like it's, you know, $20 and you're on your business. Right. You know, one thing that I have learned also through my investment in my, my mental and physical with my trainer, cheap is expensive. So I could always go the cheap route, but I'm going to pay double, sometimes triple to go back and course correct, because I wanted to save a few pennies in the front end. Right. So

'Maven' Miara Shaw (12:55.272)
Oh wow.

Gina Cano (13:04.395)
It was making that decision to invest in me and recognizing I'm hiring a coach just like a professional athlete. They don't go in the NFL or the NBA or major league baseball, just on their skill alone. They have coaches, they have trainers, they invest the time, they invest all of that. We're no different. We are absolutely no different. It's just a different level of investment. I'm investing in me and my skills and it has paid off tenfold.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:12.128)
Mm-hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:19.17)
Right.

Gina Cano (13:32.575)
It really has in doing that. And then investing in my time here at work and leveraging all of the network that's there for me, we have employee resource groups. I really invested in that again, COVID didn't have anything to do. I was seeking that connection with people. If you're in a corporate world or even in a, as an entrepreneur, there are networks you can get with it's built in for you, right? And so.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:42.882)
Right?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:55.831)
Absolutely.

Gina Cano (13:58.367)
I got more involved with those groups, which got me involved into a program, which connected me with a mentor who, David Olvenza, who is outstanding and one of my mentors helped me connect some of the stuff Stephen taught me with the stuff he had with all the other amazing people I've gotten. And it's just put this energy. So that's what I mean by investment. It's not just a monetary thing that is there.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (14:24.662)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (14:24.847)
but it's investing in you and seeing, well, what do I want to do next? And what's getting in my way? And nine times out of 10, it's you getting in your own way.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (14:31.914)
Yeah, I love that. And that all of these pieces came together, right? Like a coach is kind of a quarterback sometimes of, okay, you have this piece, this piece, and pulling that all together. And you said something so critical about these networks. Ladies, no one is coming to look for you. You've got to seek it out. You've got, and then just because you join a network.

If you never attend a virtual meeting, in-person meeting, make those connections you've got to do. There's a maven quote that I have that says, the work is not skippable. I made up a whole word, but you've got to do the work. And it does pay off. And even if it doesn't necessarily pay off in your next promotion, think about all of these connections you've made that you might not need them today, but a year from now.

Gina Cano (15:10.744)
Hey.

Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:28.974)
three years from now, you never know when you're gonna need those connections. Now of course, success with saneness is all about the undertone of helping women create success with sanity, without feeling like we have to run ourselves into the ground to achieve success. So what does that look like for you? And even if you don't have all of those pieces today, what is that?

future, work life balance, I call it balance rhythm, because life is always in motion. And so that rhythm, there's adjustments that are going to have to happen. What does that look like for Gina? That she is taking care of herself, she's doing amazing at work, well connected with her family. And I want women to hear this because it doesn't happen by happenstance. You have to be intentional with.

boundaries and all these other things to make sure that you are not seeking success yet sacrificing everything that really is important to you.

Gina Cano (16:37.055)
Absolutely. I called it harmonization, right? Finding the harmony between your work and your personal, because now with technology, it's all blended. It's like, none of us really have any off time because you're connected in some capacity, right? So for me, a couple of things are absolutely non-negotiable. So number one, I own my calendar. No one else owns my calendar. That's my calendar. It's my time.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:41.806)
about it.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:52.15)
Now.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:58.958)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Gina Cano (17:03.895)
And that is the most precious asset that we have, because once it's spent, you never get it back. So I keep that front and center, right? My calendar, my time. Number two, which is kind of number one, tied in with it, my family. Work will always be there, but my family is my family and they are my priority, right? So I have a 13 year old son, he is my world. He is everything. And if I'm not healthy and I'm not happy, I am no good and I'm no use to him. So I gotta make sure that I'm mentally,

'Maven' Miara Shaw (17:09.496)
Right.

Gina Cano (17:33.243)
capable and I'm there and I'm present for my son, for my husband, right, for my parents, right? So family first, work second. That is how I operate, right? Family first, work second. But in order for any of those, family or work, to be able to be in harmony and good, I have to prioritize me. And so how do I prioritize me? I've got time on my calendar to go to the gym. I don't negotiate that time.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (17:41.335)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (17:44.663)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (17:56.055)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (18:00.925)
Mm-hmm.

Gina Cano (18:02.355)
I might have to shift my time, right? I was going to go in the afternoon, nevermind I'll go in the morning, it's on my calendar. And if I'm not able to go to the gym for whatever reason, sometimes stuff happens, it does. I find something else to do, right? Whatever that is. Sometimes it might be just endless scrolling on TikTok because I need to mentally disconnect from the work.

demands that I have or the demands of being a mom and a wife and a sister and a daughter and everything else that comes in. Oh yeah, and I also help run all of my dad's businesses. So if I'm not at work in my family stuff, I still need time for me. So foundation for me is family first. My calendar is my time, but I prioritize me because if I'm not right, if I'm not healthy, if I'm not there, I'm no good to anyone.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (18:37.848)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (18:46.69)
Yo.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (18:52.311)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (18:53.135)
And it took me a few years to figure that out, because I would work myself crazy working these crazy hours. I'm on the phone, I'm constantly checking, I'm constantly, the fear of missing out. I gotta do this, I gotta stay on top. And if I don't respond, and you're like, you know what, you'll be there. You know, when I go on vacation, I'm going on vacation, because I'm with my family, right? When I go to the gym, I'm going to the gym because it's for me, right? And I realized, that's okay, it's okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:02.859)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:08.074)
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Gina Cano (19:20.439)
and they'll figure it out and if they can't we'll go.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:22.774)
Yeah. Listen, yeah. I say that while we're taking care of ourselves, the rest of the world is going to be fine. It really is. We, no matter what role we play, we are not that critical that the world's going to fall apart while we're doing so here. Thank God. Right. I don't even want to carry that responsibility. Um, and I, and you know, I do the same thing with my calendar, with my workouts. My workouts are on my calendar, like a meeting.

Gina Cano (19:32.536)
It will.

Gina Cano (19:38.199)
No.

Gina Cano (19:43.075)
Yes!

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:53.078)
So if a client goes to look at my calendar, the book of time, they can't, they can't book during my gym time because I'm already have something in that slot. And, and, and ladies, I want you to hear a saying that this self care and the prioritization that's important to you is up to you. Your employer is not going to tell you, Oh, you got to make sure you take care of yourself first. That's your responsibility. And I'll often say,

Gina Cano (19:57.296)
I'm booked!

Gina Cano (20:12.579)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (20:22.582)
If the cap if you're the captain of your ship and the captain goes down then who's gonna man your ship We'll sort of make sure of your work and the business support you give to your dad and your husband and your son We have to be okay with that and ladies know that you still can have success You can still get there by maintaining your health your physical health mental health spiritual health all of those components

Gina Cano (20:29.734)
Yeah, everything goes down.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (20:51.274)
You can still get there. That fallacy that I'll sleep when I'm dead. Listen, I do not subscribe to that at all. I want to go to sleep at 10.30. I do, and it's very important.

Gina Cano (21:04.295)
No. I love my sleep. And don't you touch my nap time because I do have that in my calendar too. I got to have my nap in there. I got to recharge and get going. And you know what? It's okay. I've been doing it. Business is still functioning. I'm still successful as heck here at work. You know, the things are there and I'm rested. It's okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:10.637)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:16.426)
Yes. Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:23.8)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:27.786)
Yeah, I love it. I love it. Tell us a little bit about what you actually do it. Dale. That's how you and I got connected through the Dell network. Um, for entrepreneurs, which, you know, I'm scrolling on the platform and like, Oh my gosh, like how do I pick someone from this list of folks? Right. So it's going through and reading and I was like, Gina, Dell, Texas, like let's go with this. And like, again,

Gina Cano (21:28.577)
It is okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:57.302)
The journey when we're open to it will lead us to the places, the people, the things that we need. So tell us a little bit about what you do at Dale. I know you are a champion for women even there at Dale. So tell us a little bit about that as well.

Gina Cano (22:12.187)
Sure. So at Dell, I like to jokingly say, well, not fully joke, I'm a disruptor, right? So that's what I like to do. And I'm a builder. I build, right? I take a lot after my father. I'd again, he's a general contractor. So I said, dad, instead of building houses in these commercial buildings, I build organizations and I build people, right? So probably about a year ago now, I was presented with a new opportunity to build a new business here at Dell.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (22:18.914)
Okay.

Gina Cano (22:42.095)
focused on ESG and sustainability, right? Even though E is the environmental, but really specifically on sustainability. So I'm looking at it from the lens of, what do we at Dell do in regards to our ESG, whether it's our sustainability goals, our people goals, ensuring we have the right regulatory governance, what is Dell doing? And how can we help our customers achieve their own ESG goals?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (23:04.238)
Mm-hmm.

Gina Cano (23:09.547)
Again, right now, very focused on sustainability, right? So at the end of the day, we are a business, right? So is there a way we can monetize that? Yes, great. Or is it just the right thing to do through our different routes that we have, through some of our service offerings, through some of the hardware, or some of our own giving that we do, some of the nonprofit stuff that we help in, are helping other organizations to get to achieve their goals. So I'm looking at it from that lens, right? How can Dell, from a services perspective,

take all the goodness we're doing at a corporate level and help customers, our clients, with those same goals to achieve them. So it's been really exciting. It really has been exciting to do this, because it's good. It ties into the goals that I set back in 2020 when I first met my coach, right? When I met with Steven and we started figuring out, you know, what do I want to do next? And then as I worked with David, you know, what does that really look like? I had two main goals.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (23:49.294)
I love that.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (23:57.518)
Okay.

Gina Cano (24:07.759)
There's a lot of them, but two that stood out. Number one is I wanted to make the world a better place for my son. What better way than to make sure that we're being sustainable and ethical and we're doing things right, that we truly do make a change in this world, right? And being with Dell, we have, in my opinion, we have a responsibility to lead the charge in that, right? We really do. So yeah, let's do this. Number two is I want to inspire the next generation of me.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:09.902)
Mm-hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:13.28)
Okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:22.859)
Right?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:28.194)
Mm-hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:37.942)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (24:38.179)
Right? The young Latina growing up in a small town where you don't see a lot of black and brown at the executive's levels, uh, let's be honest, it's very vanilla in most of those levels. Right? So I'm, I want to achieve those levels just not only for my own career aspirations, but I want that next Gina that's learning and seeing is like, well, I can do that. So.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:49.366)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (25:04.351)
I do that here at Dell too. So that's why I go to different events and I'm talking and meeting with different students so they can identify and they can relate and they can see themselves in this capacity. So I do that through the ERG that I'm a part of. So I'm in a couple of ERGs. We have 13 here at Dell. Name the flavor. We probably have it based on your interest, right? Which is great. It shows how diverse we are and how open we are to seeing these different points of views and embracing and being inclusive.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (25:26.284)
It was like, yeah.

Gina Cano (25:34.711)
So the primary one I'm a part of is Latino connection, right? So through Latino connection, I get to talk to, and you don't have to be Latino to be a part of it, right? You can be a part of any of it. So I'm Latino connection, we got women in action, we have our Black Networking Alliance, we have pride, we have true abilities. So I'm a part of all these ERGs. And whenever I have an opportunity to go talk, I talk. If I have an opportunity to develop and share insights, I do, because again,

'Maven' Miara Shaw (25:57.836)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (26:03.271)
I want my story, my perspective to maybe help that one person, because then that one person will help the next person. So it goes from that. So at the end of the day, what I'm doing here is not only building a business, but I'm leading and being the change that I want to see in this world. And I'm using the power that Dell has to hopefully help influence it a little bit more.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (26:28.91)
I love that. And I love that, you know, when we talk about our professional lives, our personal lives, that when we get clear about our vision, what is it that you want? You sat down with your coach and got clarity around what does Gina want to do? What's the road? What does she want it to look like? Then we can really take that energy and positively connect those two in a well blended way. Because like you said, you know, I know for me as an entrepreneur,

Gina Cano (26:41.733)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (26:59.07)
my personal role in business all intertwined, but it's the same in the corporate. You spend so much time doing your work. It just brings such joy and fulfillment to the work you do when it is in alignment with also the personal goals that you have. So that thought brings us to kind of the end where I want you to give women your best piece of advice on if they're in that moment, and they're saying,

I'm stuck. I don't know where I want to be in this corporation. If I want to stay in this corporation, if I want to launch out and go do something else, I just feel stuck. And I feel like I don't even know what I need to be doing in this world. You know, we all go through those seasons of what the heck am I doing? What? Like what? Right? You just like, God, give me a sign, you know? And we, we want

Gina Cano (27:51.756)
Oh yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (27:54.47)
I always say we want the bright burning bush. We want the plane flying by in the sky to tell us, Gina, go do this. But that's not how it happens. Uh, what's that one step a woman needs to take if she's at that moment, she's like, I literally don't know what to do. What, what's your advice to get her to the next step of just do this one thing and then be open to the next things that will happen.

Gina Cano (28:21.431)
I would say probably the number one thing is at a minimum, at an absolute minimum, at least allocate an hour a week on your very busy schedule. And I know everybody can have the hour instead of mindlessly scrolling on TikTok or doing online shopping or whatever you might do. And those are my vices, that's what I do. So that's why I'm sharing it. But whatever it is that you're doing, you do have the time, there is an hour, at least once a week that you can find. I guarantee it's in there.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (28:36.694)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (28:40.97)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (28:45.294)
Bye.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (28:51.616)
Mm-hmm.

Gina Cano (28:52.795)
No disruptions if it's going for a walk or it's locking yourself in your office, your bedroom, your closet, go in your car, go for a drive, whatever it is where it's just you and you alone, you and your thoughts, right? Even if you have a little one, they're taking their nap time, whatever that is, you and really, really start to lay out, what are the things that I'd like to do? What are the things I don't like to do? What are the things that I wish I could have help with?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:04.674)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Gina Cano (29:21.891)
What are the things I wish I could help others with? Start laying that out. Just start writing it. There's no rhyme, there's no reason. You're not going to have, it's not going to give you the answer right up front. But through that, it'll start to come up with the themes, the things that stand out to you. Like you're going to say, man, I am really good at X. I really want help with Y, whatever that is. And that'll help you then to that next step. Well, how do you go and tackle X?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:24.599)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:31.959)
Right.

Gina Cano (29:49.807)
How do you go and embrace? Why, you know, where do you go? And then you can start researching. What's coming out of that without you realizing is by dedicating that hour, once a week, you're now forming a habit where you're now putting an hour a week for yourself to invest in thinking, just thinking, talking to yourself. Pretty amazing conversations I have with myself, some of the best conversations. And it's just that hour that I am dedicated to me, no interruptions. I'm not talking to anybody. I'm not texting. I'm not, no, me.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (30:10.902)
So, bye.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (30:19.086)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Gina Cano (30:19.567)
talking to hear, talking to hear, that's where you'll start to hear all of the signs that the world is trying to tell you, whether you're spiritual, whether you're religious, whatever it is, you are gonna get the answer, but you gotta turn the noise off. And the only way you can turn that noise off is to give yourself at a minimum an hour. The more you can do it, the better, but at a minimum, give yourself an hour. And if you're like, Gina, there's no way I could give myself an hour because...

'Maven' Miara Shaw (30:37.123)
You know.

Gina Cano (30:48.963)
We all think we're super busy and we all think we're super important. And like we said, hate to burst your bubble. No, really not. Right. It's you can find it. Then start off with the half hour. And then from there, expand it to 45 minutes and then 60 minutes, and then give yourself 90 minutes. And then you'll end up finding that the more you prioritize yourself and you really allow yourself to think. The sooner the answers start to come to you, cause they've been there. They're all along. It's just, there's a lot of noise. There's a lot of.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (30:50.7)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (31:00.119)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (31:16.31)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (31:18.011)
We don't have white noise in there. Let's get it out. That's what I would say.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (31:21.558)
Love it, love it, love it, love it. That would be some of the best maven advice ever because that's how it started for me. I started, I literally started with 60 seconds of quiet time. 60, and I wasn't even trying to have thoughts in that 60 seconds. I just needed to make myself be still, like, girl, slow down, slow down, right? And really in those moments,

Gina Cano (31:35.484)
Okay? Okay.

Gina Cano (31:45.919)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (31:50.806)
The time kept growing and I think I had to also get past the fear of what am I going to hear when I really get steel. For me, I was afraid. I don't know even know why. Like I'm like, I'm going to hear something and I'm not going to be able to do it. Like what I was already talking myself out of what I didn't know.

Gina Cano (32:13.903)
That's booger. That's the little booger that we all have in there trying to tell you and protect you. And be like, no, don't start to listen. No, no, you need to listen.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (32:19.894)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't listen. And once I could get past the fear of being, of knowing that, again, another maven quote, that I'm CPR, capable, prepared, and ready for whatever it is I hear, I'm gonna be able to do it. Because I believe in God. God's not gonna ask me to do something I'm incapable of doing. Like, what would be the purpose of that, right?

So ladies know it's going to be uncomfortable. I still say that first year of me learning to get quiet and listen to my thoughts. I felt like my tear ducts were broken. I felt like I cried for a year. I felt like I cried for a year because it just was all of the really digging into what is it that I really want? Like we can keep waking up in this world and you know, kind of stomping through it and just doing the things.

other people put on our plate or we can get intentional and say, but what is it that I want to do? What's going to settle my heart and bring me peace and give me fulfillment. So ladies, we encourage you, like Gina said, start with 30 minutes. Just don't try to figure anything out. Just sit and be still. If it's driving, walking, laying down, whatever it is, just listen to what your heart.

is trying to tell you to do because here's the thing. Everyone in the world is not waiting for Myra or Gina. Someone's waiting for you and what you have to deliver. And listen, I'm gonna apply positive pressure. We need it. We need what you have in the world. Gina, listen, thank you so very much. I feel like just from us meeting a couple of months ago virtually, like we've known each other for several years and it's literally been about 60 days.

Gina Cano (34:09.687)
Yes, I feel the pain. Again, ladies, the beauty of networking, the courage of just reaching out, right? You took a chance, we connected, and you're right. I feel like I've known you my entire life, and this is, you know, I look forward to our conversations, and I'm sure this is one of many more to come. So don't be afraid. Again, stay comfortable. No, be comfortable.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (34:22.998)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (34:27.342)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (34:33.014)
Yeah.

Gina Cano (34:38.915)
being uncomfortable, right? Because that's where change happens. So this is a great example of it. So thank you for reaching out.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (34:40.398)
Absolutely.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (34:45.078)
Yeah, my joy. All right, Gina, hang on for me.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (35:20.435)
Alright, there we go.

Gina Cano (35:23.468)
I'm here.

3 Easy Ways to Create a Rest Haven at Home – Episode 24

3 Easy Ways to Create a Rest Haven at Home – Episode 24

IN THIS EPISODE:

This episode discusses how to create a sanctuary at home for high achieving women. It emphasizes the importance of rest and restoration. The conversation covers designing a personal retreat space, establishing mindful routines, and creating boundaries with technology. The goal is to create a peaceful and empowering tranquil space in one’s own home.

Key Focus Areas:

  • 00:00 – Creating a Sanctuary at Home
  • 03:01 – Designing Your Personal Retreat Space
  • 04:12 – Establishing Mindful Routines
  • 10:59 – Creating Boundaries with Technology

Listen To This Episode:

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Crafting Your Sanctuary – Balancing Leadership with Personal Peace

In the high-stakes game of leadership, where decision-making, team management, and relentless drive dominate the day, the home can become more than just a place to rest—it can be a sanctuary. Our recent podcast episode, “How Women Leaders Can Create a Haven of Rest at Home,” delved into this vital aspect of a leader’s life. For the high-performing woman, balancing professional rigor with personal serenity is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity. Here, we expand on three key areas to transform your home into a rejuvenating haven, a place where you, as a leader, can refuel and reconnect with your inner self.  

1. Designing a Personal Retreat: Your Sanctuary Within a Sanctuary

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It involves understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and the underlying motivations of your actions. This introspection enables you to lead with authenticity and confidence.

  • Creating Your Space: It doesn’t require an elaborate setup. A quiet corner, a cozy armchair by the window, or even a small garden can be transformed into your retreat. The key is to personalize this space with elements that resonate with you—be it soft lighting for a tranquil ambiance, an array of indoor plants for a touch of nature, or inspiring artwork that speaks to your soul.
  • Utilizing Your Retreat: This space isn’t just for show; it’s for active engagement. Whether it’s through meditation, reading, or simply sitting in silence, use this space to disconnect from the hustle and reconnect with yourself. It’s a physical reminder to pause, breathe, and recenter.

2. Cultivating Mindful Routines: Bookends to Your Day

The way you start and end your day can set the tone for your overall well-being. Mindful routines act as bookends to your busy schedule, offering structure and tranquility.

  • A Purposeful Morning: Begin your day with intention. A morning routine might include meditation, a fitness session, or journaling. These activities shouldn’t be rushed; they’re a time to set your intentions, gather your thoughts, and approach the day with a clear, focused mind.
  • An Unwinding Evening: Just as important is how you wind down. Evening routines might involve a digital detox, a relaxing bath, or time spent with a hobby. This is your time to decompress, letting go of the day’s stresses and preparing for restorative sleep.

3. Balancing Technology: Disconnect to Reconnect

In our digital age, technology is a double-edged sword. It keeps us connected and efficient but can also be a source of constant distraction and stress. Establishing boundaries with technology at home is crucial for mental peace.

  • Tech-Free Zones: Designate areas in your home where digital devices are not allowed. This might be the dining room, bedroom, or your personal retreat space. These zones encourage presence, conversation, and relaxation without the constant pings of the digital world.
  • Scheduled Disconnects: Set specific times when you will not check emails or work messages. This could be during meals, after a certain hour in the evening, or during your personal time in your retreat space. It’s about reclaiming your time and attention, allowing you to be fully present at the moment.

Transforming your home into a haven of rest is an empowering journey. It’s about creating a space that reflects and supports your inner peace and well-being. As you implement these focus areas, remember that they are not just practices but affirmations of your commitment to yourself as a person, not just as a leader. Your home can be a grounding force, a place where the vigor of your professional life harmonizes with the tranquility of your personal world. Embrace this journey, for in nurturing yourself, you are also nurturing your ability to lead, inspire, and thrive.

QUIT HUSTLE CULTURE & CREATE YOUR OWN RHYTHM!

Gain access to three valuable videos designed to empower you in breaking free from the hustle culture and establishing your unique Balanced Rhythm™ for work-life equilibrium. Whether you’re a dynamic executive professional or a successful entrepreneur, these videos will equip you with the tools to develop a life strategy that places you firmly in the driver’s seat. Opt-in now to unlock this transformative content with  3 MOVES TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS WITH SANENESS!

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Get Connected with Maven Miara

Are you a dynamic female executive or women entrepreneur craving proven business growth strategies and leadership success? Do you yearn for more fulfilling work-life balance? Are you seeking unwavering leadership confidence as you navigate the complexities of life, all while maintaining your holistic well-being (spiritual, physical and mental)? Welcome to ‘Success with Saneness. This transformative personal development podcast is designed exclusively for high-performers who seek to excel in both their professional and personal lives with balance. Each episode features expert insights and thought-provoking discussions about building unshakable leadership confidence, business growth and designing harmony among them. Join your host, “Maven” Miara, a professional speaker, business strategist, leadership development facilitator and author. Embark on an enlightening journey towards success with saneness, where holistic care, confidence building, and leadership unite. To find out more, join the Maven Nation community by visiting miarashaw.com. Reach out to Maven Miara at: hello@miarashaw.com Website: miarashaw.com  /  Episode Website LinkedIn: @miarashaw  /  Instagram: @mavenmiara  /  YouTube: @mavenmiara

Maven Miara (00:05.902)
Hey, Maven Nation, welcome back to another episode of Success With Saness. This episode is gonna be talking about something I would say that I would find it fun, and it's how do you create a sanctuary at home? Listen, as high achieving women, we are out a lot, doing a lot of things between work and maybe you're volunteering for something, and children, and...

partners and all of the things that we do. Sometimes it can feel like a whirlwind between meetings and decision making and being innovative and all of the things that we do. No complaints about that. That's what we enjoy. That's what we're created or built, I would say, to do. But you've heard me talk about in previous episodes about getting rest, making sure we're doing that.

So creating your own sanctuary or tranquility space to make sure you're getting restoration. So here's the first thing that I wanna share with you is designing your own personal space, your retreat space at home. So I have a question for you. What elements can you include in your personal retreat that give you a sense of peace and tranquility?

Now I'm not saying again that you need to go out and pay $20,000 for a bathroom remodel to put a sauna in and a now listen, if you can do it, but I don't want you to confuse with what I'm wanting you to think about creating your own tranquil and retreat space at home to associate that with only money. Maybe it's, um,

some candles, maybe it's some candles, maybe is having a glass of a cup of hot tea and you want to invest in a really nice tea maker, one that you can set to auto make or whatever you need. Again, I'm not talking about this space can only be done with some big ticket dollar item. Again, if that's in your budget and you wanna do that, go be great. But.

Maven Miara (02:32.594)
Don't discount creating a tranquil space for yourself just because this season of your life when you're seeing this video or listening to this podcast does not afford you a big budget to make these type of changes. Think about that. How can you make your bedroom more tranquil? What does that look like for you? Okay. Maybe it's new pillows. Maybe it's a new mattress.

nicer sheets. I don't know. Only you know the thing that is going to help you create a more tranquil space so that your home, your home is your sanctuary. That home could be an apartment, whatever it looks like. That is your space. I want you to be intentional to think about it that way. Again, we're out and about doing a lot of things, being great for a lot of people.

What about you? How do you get to come back home? Or even if you work from home, how do you get to retreat to a part of your home that

You can simply take a deep breath and unwind. Okay. So give that some thought. How can I make whatever that space is more tranquil, a retreat space for myself? Okay. So that's number one. Number two is how can you establish mindful routines? Okay. Mindful. And here's what I want to say around mindfulness.

Mindfulness is not just kind of this vision we see of us sitting still, eyes closed and practicing meditation. That's not the, that is a form of mindfulness, but that is not the only way to practice mindfulness. Maybe that's having a morning routine that allows you to not just pop up, get on your cell phone or on your computer and start working.

Maven Miara (04:40.498)
Maybe that morning routine includes you having some quiet time, maybe some physical activity. My morning routine includes stretching in the morning, not necessarily my physical activity that time of day, but some form of stretching, just kind of warming this 50 something year old body up. Okay. So what could that look like for you? If you're a person that does enjoy working out in the morning,

then maybe that's part of your morning routine. But I want you to think of your morning routine as it relates to your sanctuary, you creating this haven for yourself of not getting up and jumping straight into work, immediately forcing your brain into decision making processes. Maybe it's just a gentle start to your day. And what does that gentleness really look like? Only you can define that for you.

I'm giving you some ideas, some things to think about, some suggestions, but what does that look like for you? For me, it looks like starting with prayer, quiet time, some stretching. Oh, and my delightful cup of coffee. Of course, before I have the coffee, I have one glass of room temperature water, get the system awake gently without throwing the caffeine in there. Okay. That's what my morning routine looks like.

Am I successful at doing that every single morning? I am not. I am not. And I'm gentle with myself on that process. I don't beat myself up because I didn't get it done today. Now I will be intentional to hit reset the next morning and get back on task. Or if at some point throughout the day, I'm like, man, why am I feeling so rushed and anxious? And it's like, Ooh, I skipped past my morning routine. And if

In that moment, I can simply get still and just take some deep breaths and just allow myself to settle down. Then I then I've still gotten some form of mindfulness. Okay. So, so what does that mindfulness look like to you? Be intentional, take some time to figure out what are the things that you can, what, what can you put in your space to create your?

Maven Miara (07:05.582)
Haven at home, your retreat, your tranquil space. And then what is that mindfulness morning routine, even evening routine going to look like for you? For me, my evening routine looks more like the boundaries around getting off technology, not taking my laptop from my office on the second floor down to the living space downstairs. I don't take it because

If I take it, really I'm setting myself up to be on it, to keep working. Right. And although I enjoy my work and the things that I do, we still have to set some boundaries about downtime. Rest. Again, you'll keep hearing me emphasize that if you follow all of my episodes, we have to be intentional to allow ourselves as high performing, high achieving women to slow down. I call it.

downshifting to come out of fifth gear into fourth gear into third gear and the entire world the entire world is going to be fine while you sit your cape to the side sit your laptop to the side sit your cell phone to the side and be intentional about just time for you so

whatever that looks like for me, that's around maybe five something. When I finished working in my office and I head downstairs to start preparing dinner, I leave my laptop upstairs. That way I'm not setting myself up for failure to say, Oh, I'm just going to take it downstairs and you know, surf the web, look on Amazon or Nordstrom.com. No, I'm not going to take it. I'm going to leave it where it is again. That way I'm removing a barrier.

that is gonna entice me to keep, well, I'm just gonna reply to these three emails that I didn't get to, or I'm just gonna finish this one. No, it can wait until the next day. Now, understand this about these routines that I'm talking about. Maybe you can't get to your routine every single day. Maybe there is a day that's gonna require you to work a little later.

Maven Miara (09:30.338)
then you would normally wait, work. Maybe on a day you, you do kind of stop for me, my evening routine, I go make dinner. And then I have to come back up to my office or something. I have a board meeting or there is something critical that I do need to get finished that day. I'm not talking about those types of instances. I'm talking about what are you consistently doing? If you're consistently working, working all evening, every evening,

Yeah, that's an indication that there is an opportunity to create more balance. Remember, we're talking about creating this haven, this sanctuary at home for yourself. So if you're constantly working, when are you going to get to enjoy the sanctuary? OK, so again, I'm not talking about what you are doing here and there. I'm talking about what's consistent, what's part of your more frequent daily routine of doing that.

Okay. Now that's going to lead me to talk about the third and final thought that I want you to be thinking about on creating this haven at home, your sanctuary is how do you create boundaries with technology at home to foster a more peaceful, restful environment? That's it. How, what can you do?

that allows you to set boundaries around technology to create this sanctuary. In the example that I just talked about earlier, is that getting off of your laptop and working at a certain time of day and being done for the day? Is that getting off of your cell phone by a certain time so that your brain can start to downshift as I talk about. So when it's

time to get in the bed and go to sleep. Your brain has already had enough time to kind of cycle down off of all of the amazing things that you've been thinking about doing, solving, fixing throughout the day. Okay. You decide, you know what works for you, what doesn't work for you. And when we're thinking about these things, ladies, do what works for you. Again, I'm giving you suggestions, ideas, things to think about.

Maven Miara (11:56.79)
but I'm not saying what necessarily works for me is 100% going to work for you. You know what works for you. You know what that's going to look like. And here it is. It's some of it's going to be, you've got to figure it out. If you've never set boundaries around getting off your laptop at a certain time, maybe, you know, you are a person that's been taking your laptop to bed and you work until you just fall asleep.

I'm going to ask you to stop doing that today. But what does that look like that now that you're not doing that? What is that evening routine going to look like for me about eight 30? I start my bath routine. I'm a bad person. I love to take a bath, not necessarily a shower. And that is a whole thing of

taking my bath and relaxing and listening to music or watching something on my iPad, whatever that looks like, but it definitely doesn't include work, does not, okay? But that's kind of my full unwind relaxed because when I get out of the tub, listen about an hour later, now I'm ready to head to bed, okay? And whatever that routine is. So maybe that doesn't work for you.

but you've got to figure out what does work in it. Whatever you select doesn't work. Try something else or maybe it needs to be tweaked. Maybe it needs to be a job, whatever that is. Maybe your bad time routine includes a hot tea or wine, whatever it looks like for you. Now, I'm not encouraging you to have a glass of wine every night, but I'm just saying what does that look like for you to decide?

Okay, here's what I'm going to try when I'm creating my sanctuary, my haven at home. Okay. And it's not just about how it your sanctuary has to look a certain way. Aesthetics are important to me, but maybe they're not that important to you, but what works for you? Okay. Know that this haven, this retreat, this tranquility space in your home has to work for you.

Maven Miara (14:18.706)
And if you don't know what that should look like, feel like, smell like all of the things, just start, just start with something. Start with testing it out so that you can create a place that allows you to recharge, reflect and rejuvenate. All right. So Maven Nation, thank you for joining me for this episode of Success With Saneness. And here's to creating peaceful and empowering tranquil spaces Right in our own homes. So until next time keep doing your BAM Thang!

Build Inner Strength and Confidence Through Pole Dancing with Kelechi Okafor – Episode 23

Build Inner Strength and Confidence Through Pole Dancing with Kelechi Okafor – Episode 23

IN THIS EPISODE:

In this conversation, Maven Miara Shaw interviews Kalechi Okafor, an actor, director, author, and founder of a pole dance studio in London. They discuss Kalechi’s journey of starting the studio and the power of pole dancing as a form of empowerment. They also explore the concept of the erotic and its connection to personal strength and creativity. Kalechi shares her experiences writing books and the inspiration behind them. They delve into the Say Your Mind podcast and its role in giving a voice to important social issues. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the interconnectedness of destinies and the importance of living in one’s truth.

 

Key Focus Areas:

  • 00:02 Introduction and Background of Kelechi Okafor
  • 002:07 Starting a Pole Dancing Studio
  • 03:13 The Power of the Erotic
  • 08:01 Journey to Authorship and Exploring Twerk Classes
  • 17:41 Power of Voice and Podcasting

Listen To This Episode:

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Unleashing Potential Through Passion and Perseverance

In our latest episode, “How Inner Strength & Confidence Can Come Through Pole Dancing,” we delved into the captivating journey of Kalechi Okafor, an embodiment of strength, creativity, and resilience. Her story is not just a narrative of individual triumph but a beacon of inspiration for women everywhere, particularly those who dare to dream big and break barriers. This article expands on three key points from our conversation, offering insights and motivation for high-performing women leaders, entrepreneurs, and founders.

1. Embracing Your Unique Path: The Story of a Trailblazer

Kalechi’s journey began with a dream to be an actress, a vision that gradually evolved as she navigated the challenges and limitations within her industry. Her story teaches us about the power of embracing change and being open to new paths. When faced with obstacles, instead of succumbing to disappointment, she channeled her energy into exploring her other passion: fitness. This pivot was not a step back but a bold leap into a realm filled with possibilities

  • Key Insight: Life may not always go as planned, but every challenge is an opportunity to explore new avenues. As high-performing women, when one door seems to close, our creativity and resilience empower us to find new doors waiting to be opened.
  • Motivational Takeaway: Be fluid in your journey. Embrace the detours as they often lead to unexpected and fulfilling destinations.

2. Turning Anger into Action: The Birth of a Revolutionary Studio

Kalechi’s foray into pole dancing and her subsequent experience with discrimination fueled a transformative anger, leading to the founding of her pole dance studio. This was not just a business venture; it was a statement, a stand against stereotypes and limitations placed on black women. Her studio became a space of empowerment, where women could explore their strength, both physical and sensual, in a supportive and liberating environment.

  • Key Insight: Anger, often viewed negatively, can be a powerful catalyst for change when channeled constructively. It can drive us to challenge the status quo and create spaces where none existed before.
  • Motivational Takeaway: Harness your emotions as a force for positive change. Let your passion and conviction be the driving forces that turn challenges into impactful achievements.

3. The Power of Voice: Advocacy Through Podcasting

Kalechi’s venture into podcasting with “Say Your Mind” further exemplifies her commitment to using her voice for empowerment. By sharing stories and addressing issues often sidelined, she creates a platform for dialogue and awareness. Her podcast transcends entertainment; it’s an educational tool and a source of empowerment for her listeners.

  • Key Insight: Your voice is your power. In a world where many feel unheard, using your platform to speak up on important issues can spark significant change and inspire others to find their voices.
  • Motivational Takeaway: Never underestimate the impact of your voice. Whether through podcasting, writing, or leading, your words can be a beacon of hope, change, and empowerment.

Kalechi Okafor’s journey is a testament to the power of passion, perseverance, and the courage to redefine one’s path. Her story resonates with many high-performing women who navigate the complex landscapes of career and personal aspirations. Let her journey inspire you to embrace your unique path, turn challenges into opportunities, and use your voice to make a difference. Remember, the journey to success is not linear; it’s a rich tapestry woven with experiences, learning, and growth. Embrace your journey with confidence and let your light shine brightly in a world that awaits your unique contribution.

 

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Get Connected with Maven Miara

Are you a dynamic female executive or women entrepreneur craving proven business growth strategies and leadership success? Do you yearn for more fulfilling work-life balance? Are you seeking unwavering leadership confidence as you navigate the complexities of life, all while maintaining your holistic well-being (spiritual, physical and mental)? Welcome to ‘Success with Saneness. This transformative personal development podcast is designed exclusively for high-performers who seek to excel in both their professional and personal lives with balance. Each episode features expert insights and thought-provoking discussions about building unshakable leadership confidence, business growth and designing harmony among them.

Join your host, “Maven” Miara, a professional speaker, business strategist, leadership development facilitator and author. Embark on an enlightening journey towards success with saneness, where holistic care, confidence building, and leadership unite.

To find out more, join the Maven Nation community by visiting miarashaw.com.

Reach out to Maven Miara at: hello@miarashaw.com

Website: miarashaw.com  /  Episode Website LinkedIn: @miarashaw  /  Instagram: @mavenmiara  /  YouTube: @mavenmiara

'Maven' Miara Shaw (00:02.843)
Hey, hey, Maven nation. Welcome back to another episode of success with saying this. I am super, super excited today to have, listen, a new friend, a new connection in Maven nation all the way from London. Kalechi Okafor is, well, listen, we just met a couple of months ago. Well, by the time you see this, we met 2023 in the fall in Baltimore at a podcasting conference.

She doesn't know this, but I was already full working on my season two schedule and I intentionally left a spot open because I said to the team, I'm going to meet someone in Baltimore that I need to interview that I want to have on this. So it was very intentional. As soon as I heard her speaking, I'm like, she's the one she, she's the guest that I need to have. So listen, welcome to the show.

kelechi (00:47.453)
Mm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (00:59.527)
Give us a little bit of introduction about yourself. Listen, I was scrolling all and digging through your Instagram and I was like, sis is over in Britain doing her thing. So welcome to the show.

kelechi (01:03.69)
I'm sorry.

kelechi (01:11.928)
Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I'm an actor, director, as well as an author now. And I have I founded a pole dance studio in 2016 in London, South East London, and I do a lot of social commentary, you know, across the news platforms and things like that. And I also host a podcast called Say Your Mind.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (01:37.607)
Say your mind like that. That sums it up and says so much. I absolutely love it. So let's first start off with this wonderful pole dancing idea. And it's so interesting. Kalechi and I were talking before we started recording. Yes, she's a black Briton. I'm a black American. We're women. And the uniqueness and the barriers, struggles, listen, the distance of the pond doesn't really change them much.

kelechi (02:07.714)
Mmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (02:07.775)
It's so many similar things. So what encouraged you or gave you the idea of opening a pole dancing studio? And you know, I know some people here that they're like, oh my gosh, clutching their pearls and I'm like, yes, get it. That's because that's a power in a way, right? For a woman to be able to do that and be confident in it. Body wise, mentally, all of the things, you know, for those that's not your thing, don't do that thing.

kelechi (02:21.848)
Get into it! Get into it! Yes.

kelechi (02:30.107)
Absolutely.

kelechi (02:37.282)
I'm sorry.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (02:37.627)
don't hate on someone else that's doing a great thing. So what made you start that? And what does that do for the students or clients you're working with?

kelechi (02:46.93)
I started it, started Collection of Cough Pole Dance Studio because of Black American women. Actually, they were, you know, part of that sort of genesis. Why? Because I, you know, focused on acting most of my life. Oh, I'm going to be an actress. I'm going to be a famous actress one day. That's what I'm going to do. And then with the nature of, you know, misogynoir, you know, general anti-blackness, the way it works, and Britain.

at that point being very limited in terms of acting opportunities, hence a lot of black actors, black British actors going over to the US. I was still in Britain and I was working at a call center, you know, waiting for my big break. I'd go to an audition after audition. I just thought this is ridiculous. What else do I enjoy outside of you know acting? Well, fitness. I was sports captain, a sports captain in high school. I was also head of sports or you know sports captain again.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (03:26.29)
Okay.

kelechi (03:42.87)
while I was an air cadet. So there were so many different instances where I was just like, well, sports is my other thing. So I decided to train to become a personal trainer. So while I was doing the course, I continued working at the call center and I started gaining extra knowledge in that vein. And once I got my personal training business going, I started thinking, okay, what else can I do for myself? Because I was weightlifting, I've been going to the gym, I've been doing athletics for years. So what else?

you know, what else can I do? And I decided to try a pole dance class, especially because I remember when I was living in Atlanta briefly, I went to some clubs and I thought, you know, while everyone else was just like, oh my God, these women are so sexy, oh my God. Yes, they are and were, but I was fascinated by the strength that it required because I know that strength. Like I pulled myself up a rope before. So I'm like, why are they all going up and down that pole? The core must be tremendous. So.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:15.635)
Okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:26.917)
right?

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:32.359)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (04:39.74)
Yes.

kelechi (04:41.534)
you know, I kept that at the back of my mind. So when I was in London, I thought, okay, I'm gonna go try a class. And within six weeks, you know, I'd kind of zipped through the level I was at. I was zipping through another level. And then they said to me, oh, do you want to teach? You know, and so I started teaching for that studio. And they also asked me at that point, do you know how to twerk? I thought that's interesting. Do you ask every teacher if they know how to twerk? Like, you know, if they know how to twerk, why is it because I'm black? So I said, well, I...

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:04.839)
What?

kelechi (05:10.646)
do this and I showed them what I do and they said, oh yeah, teach that. And the class became so wildly popular. I, we had to add another class that a timetable. So I thought, why don't I take this class across the UK? I reached out to a studio in Manchester, which is the North of England, reached out to them and I said, Oh, I would love to bring my twerk class to you. Cause I noticed that on their website, they'd written that Miley Cyrus was one of the originators of twerk. And I thought, see.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:24.755)
Okay.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:28.947)
Okay.

kelechi (05:39.794)
Now you are being inaccurate, so you probably need some education. You need somebody to come through and kind of like shake things up, you know, you know, shake things up a bit, season things up a bit. So I reached out and I said, you know, I'd love to come through and teach this workshop and the white studio owner, she reached back out and she said, thanks for your message. I don't enjoy your style of twerk. When me and my girls twerk, we put our knee pads on and throw down.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (05:45.86)
Absolutely.

kelechi (06:06.198)
So I went and looked at the video just to see what they were throwing down. And my God, my God, it was a catastrophe. Nothing was thrown nor was anything picked. It died. The music was over here. Their moves were over there. It was shambolic. And so I posted the videos side by side, a video of my class and a video of her class.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:12.731)
Thanks.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:25.048)
Oh my gosh.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:32.57)
Mmm.

kelechi (06:34.002)
online and I said and I also posted a screenshot of what she sent me and it went viral it went everywhere I said I'm just trying to understand because I sent her this video and she said I don't enjoy your duh so let's just look at what she is doing and um yeah it went viral and so many black American women were like why are you know even looking to work at somebody else's studio

'Maven' Miara Shaw (06:39.604)
You were like, I am not afraid of smoke.

kelechi (07:03.462)
open your own studio, do your own thing. And you know, the American women were very, very adamant. And they were like, you can start a crowd fund. You can do this. And at the time I was saving for a wedding instead of going ahead with the wedding, use the money instead plus crowdfunding to then open this small space. So that happened like, let's say January 2016. By August 2016, I'd opened my first studio. And I think that we talk about anger.

as if it's a destructive force. Anger, based on how you use it, can be such a liberating and constructive energy. Because I was angry about her response, I took that anger and I got to work. And between January and August, I'd opened my first space. And that's how I've kind of been here ever since. After a year, I couldn't contain the classes in that studio, so I closed it and opened another one in 2017.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (07:35.216)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (07:43.579)
Yes.

kelechi (08:01.158)
in South East London and Peckham, the first one was in East London, opened this one that had two rooms instead of one. And I've been there ever since. And it's now what, 2023, you know, that, you know, I've been doing that.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:12.399)
Yes. Wow. Listen, I love the whole story. And I... Ha ha.

kelechi (08:17.908)
Hahaha!

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:20.947)
Sometimes we just have to show people this this. OK, this is what it is. So and you mentioned the American women. Were these women there in London? OK, this is just followers and supporters. Excellent.

kelechi (08:22.96)
Yeah.

kelechi (08:30.462)
no they were just on the internet yeah just yeah just on the internet and they just looked at it and they said no and i think that it was important to mention about it being black american women because there was an enterprising spirit there that wasn't necessarily there with the black british women at the time that's not to say that black british women aren't enterprising it's just the culture that we have to navigate means that we would have been furious that woman did that to me we would have had a whole discussion about it and then done that's it

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:44.816)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:50.172)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (08:57.999)
Right. That's me. Okay.

kelechi (09:00.15)
done. But then since then I've noticed a marked sort of improvement in how many businesses we now have that are you know confidently black woman owned. We have so many wonderful businesses popping up now and I love that because we are seeing that we have to do for ourselves if we want to continue.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (09:12.765)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (09:20.367)
Yeah. I love it. Listen, that whole story is simply inspiring, right? You said it best. You took a moment of anger and used it to change, to do something you wanted to do. Again, I'm always talking about the power of community. Your social media community, go for it. Get it done, do it yourself. Giving you the ideas and the support, and here you are years later, still.

kelechi (09:47.926)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (09:50.251)
empowering women through pole dancing classes. You're right. Listen, I work with a personal trainer and I work out consistently. But listen, that pole, that's, listen, you better have it together.

kelechi (10:00.818)
This is really something and you know, there is a power in the erotic. Audre Lorde talks about it, the power of the erotic. Sometimes we because of the way that's a patriarchal society operates, we conflate the erotic with pornographic, you know, and they're not the same thing. We are we all create from an erotic space, whether we call it that or not. And so that energy is our driving force. And we.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:15.922)
Yes.

Correct.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:23.696)
Right.

kelechi (10:29.238)
we do ourselves a disservice when we kind of listen to the ways in which, especially as black women, we've been hypersexualized. So we don't want to engage with the erotic, especially not in an overt way, in a overtly sensual way. But that in and of itself is our power. If we look historically, the ways in which that we've been depicted, the ways that, when we think about Sarah

We think about Josephine Baker, we think about Nina Simone, we think about all of these women and the way that they were depicted to us as over sexed, like all of these things. And so we don't wanna be that, we wanna be respectable. And that means that we then shut off that sacred energy, that driving force that allows us to create in a way that means that we become immortal, right? From that energy. And so.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (10:57.991)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (11:03.123)
Thre-

Mm-hmm.

kelechi (11:21.526)
with the twerk classes that I was teaching as well as pole dance, I'm asking for us, women specifically, but anybody of any gender expression to come back to source, to come back to that power, to the power of the erotic, using it to build physical strength, because it's no joke to get up that pole and swing yourself around, but at the same time, building up the sensual strength that I can transmute.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (11:42.365)
break.

kelechi (11:48.423)
this energy any which way I desire. Like you become an alchemist.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (11:53.203)
I love that. Listen, so well said. I have never heard sexuality in erotica and power explained so well together. So let's, let's switch gears for a little bit. You recently came out with a book edge of here. Then I was on your Instagram and saw strong like me. I was like, wait, what is going on here? So tell us about the two books. I know strong like me is a children's book.

kelechi (12:00.663)
Hahaha!

kelechi (12:09.577)
Yeah.

kelechi (12:21.143)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (12:21.583)
So cute, beautiful cover. But Edge of Here, is that more fantasy?

kelechi (12:28.122)
Yeah, so that's um, so as you've hear is speculative fiction is what I'd call it, you know mixed with Love and the protagonists are all, you know black women. So I wanted to write it because I love technology. I use technology a lot and I think that we are science fiction black women. We are That's how it is really. Um, we have been imagined from consciousness

and we are here and every time we're blowing people's minds. If you think about Henrietta Lacks and the way that her cells were used over and over and over again, without her family's consent, without her consent, but the fact that her cells could do that, I'm just like, it's been clear from the beginning of time that there is something so special, so magical about what we are and who we are. And yet the vilification that we see in mainstream media,

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:03.879)
Absolutely.

kelechi (13:22.174)
opposes this reality that we know. We have therefore been made science fiction. So I wanted to explore that further where my protagonists, some of them have special powers, some of them are just interacting with technology. So it's kind of like Black Mirror but Black women and better.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:28.573)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (13:40.781)
I love that. So we'll be dropping the links to that book and then tell us a little bit about Strong Like Me.

kelechi (13:49.13)
Strong Like Me, I just, yeah, I love it. It's a picture book for children from zero to six, but I say that it's for everybody's, for everybody's inner child. So we meet Kamara. Kamara is the little girl who has a lot of strength. She's super fast. She can do all of these things. She's just very physically capable, but her friends around her in her class don't like that she's so strong.

because first of all, girls aren't meant to be strong. And then, you know, she's just doing all of these other things. So it's the journey that Kamara goes on to love her own strength, regardless of what anyone has to say about it. Because statistically speaking, around 15 years old, I know, definitely in the UK, young girls drop out of sports and they drop out of sports because it becomes this whole thing of like, oh, but you're a girl, you're not meant to be doing sports. You're not. You're a girl.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (14:36.187)
Mm-hmm.

kelechi (14:43.382)
don't be strong because you're gonna look like a man. And all of these things are said to deter girls, deter women from any sort of physical strength. But then if we then look at the expression of gendered violence, I feel like if women were stronger, we would have some, we would be able to fight back in certain regards. It doesn't solve everything, but it is something. And so when I think about...

'Maven' Miara Shaw (14:59.471)
Yeah. Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:05.968)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:09.788)
Yeah.

kelechi (15:11.85)
women like Serena Williams and how she's depicted as an ape sometimes and people made fun of her because of her physique and I had similar happen to me when I was younger because you know I was doing athletics And you know various sports when I was growing up. I remember friends would say to me

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:16.38)
Yeah.

kelechi (15:28.25)
oh yeah, you know, you're so muscular, you're so athletic, you can't be more muscular than your boyfriend and things like that, that would put me off enjoying my body and the things that it's able to do. If 37 year old me now could do what like 16 year old me was able to do, ah, I would be laughing. I would be laughing. But you push it down because of what other people are saying to you. So strong like me is that reminder.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:31.579)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (15:45.938)
Right.

kelechi (15:55.118)
not just to us as adults but to the little children and growing up that there's nothing wrong with having the strength that you have especially little black girls there's nothing wrong with being like strong fast all of these things own it own it celebrate it because my god one day you'll be glad that you did

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:09.683)
brightened.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:15.023)
Yeah, I love that. And here's the current, consistent current under all of the things you've talked about you're doing is lifting others up, getting people to believe their power, their strength. Absolutely love that. So this next shift we're going to take is your podcast, Say Your Mind, which when we first started talking, when you were talking on the stage in Baltimore, that's a little bit of what you were talking about.

kelechi (16:25.555)
Yes.

kelechi (16:34.741)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (16:45.095)
And I find it, again, incredibly strong that after your runs, you have your phone out, you're sharing the thoughts of the day or whatever has happened on the news or the missing black person that has, you know, been body has been discovered and you're sharing that and you're not using your voice just for, hey, look at me.

is to bring enlightenment, to bring light and really shining light on some things that people would prefer. Like, let's just let this all go away. So what did your podcasts of your mind start out with that in mind? Like, this is the goal, I'm gonna be talking about these things. And how have you seen that grow? And I would imagine really giving power to other people to also

use their voice. I think in one of your videos, I saw you say that other people at the end of their walk or their run was also sharing some message at the end of that.

kelechi (17:51.597)
Yeah.

Yeah, I'm loving that I'm seeing that now because I feel like for me, I always talk about the fact that running for me is a moving prayer. You know, it's my time of connecting with spirit, thanking God for my lungs, thanking God for my heart. Like sometimes those runs feel brutal, gosh, but just doing it and thank being thankful the whole way through. I know that it centers me and then it gives me this clarity of mind. And then suddenly something that I've been really grappling with, trying to find the words for.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (17:59.187)
Oh, I love that.

kelechi (18:22.14)
of the words that you know they make themselves known so I you know really appreciated that and ultimately I started Say Your Mind because initially it was about me not being erased I don't want to be erased that I ever existed I was here like this is why I'm doing this why because I remember writing a thread about Muhammad Ali years ago when he passed away and I could because I noticed that the media outlets kept saying things like

Oh, Muhammad Ali, he transcended race. He transcended race. And I was like, what are you talking about? It's like, you're almost saying that he's now being bestowed the biggest honor that a black person can get, which is to transcend race. And there was something very problematic about that because we know that we now see many people trying to transcend race. So I'm not like the other black people. Look at me, because I don't do that. And then they're met with the stark kind of realization that you can't.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (18:56.051)
Thank you.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:04.347)
Right.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:19.791)
You can't. Yeah.

kelechi (19:20.606)
you cannot transcend race and if they give you that title it's because you are no longer a threat because you're dead you know and so and you see that in a way that we see the ways in which people conflate and misconstrue and misuse the words of Martin Luther King Jr. they rarely try that with Malcolm X they rarely try that with Malcolm X because he was it was very clear

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:27.203)
Right. Yeah, yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:44.848)
right.

kelechi (19:46.838)
that don't, you know? And so it was interesting why they wanted to then try it with Muhammad Ali, but it's because as he grew older, maybe that fighting spirit, those very acerbic words that were very clear on his stance, you know, they couldn't, they could play with him in his later life because they felt that they'd almost softened him up and they pacified him. And so I wrote this long thread about that and how it even interlinks with when Kanye has shared some

'Maven' Miara Shaw (19:47.271)
Yes. Yeah.

kelechi (20:16.162)
frustrations online in the past thinking that by marrying somebody like Kim Kardashian, by doing this, by doing that, that he would, you know, one day be able to break through this ceiling and then he'd be somewhere else. And he was frustrated when he realized that he could not. And so I wrote this thread. I went back to go and look for my thread one day and it was no longer there. Don't know what happened to it. It was just no longer there. And I thought, okay, I've said to people that I'm not going to start a podcast because I don't have time for it. But in that moment, I knew I had to.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (20:25.084)
Yeah.

kelechi (20:45.782)
So my things couldn't just disappear because they're on somebody else's platform. So that's what led to me starting the podcast. But then once I started it, there were so many stories I wanted to talk about. There were so many things that I wanted to kind of shine a light on that was happening all around the world. And then it just took on, the podcast took on a life of its own. It no longer became about me, it became about us.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (20:49.683)
Thanks for watching.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:06.211)
Okay, okay. I love that. And you know, these, that strong voice, oftentimes, you know, I think when the person that has, I call it the capacity to be the strong voice, then others can come and say, well, here's my story also. So it gives other people a place, a safe place to come and share their story, which is, you know, the...

kelechi (21:26.3)
Mm-hmm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (21:34.707)
thought that I share with people that everyone is not waiting for Maven Myra. Someone's waiting for you. If you're not doing the thing you're assigned to do, who else are you holding up? If you were not using, say your mind as a platform to share stories, how many other people's stories would not be out into the world?

kelechi (21:56.894)
Absolutely, that is a word. Gosh, because I've spoken about it previously on the podcast as well, that a blessing isn't a blessing unless you're blessing somebody else, right? And somebody is, as you say, waiting for us right now to give ourselves the permission to speak our truth to power, to be exactly who we were destined to be. And by doing that, they see it and they go, oh, it's possible for me too. And not even just that they see it, but for instance,

you're working on a script or I can't be the one to write it. I don't have the talent. But by you not writing that script, there's an actress or actor somewhere that cannot have their moment, the moment that they emerge into the public consciousness because your script has to happen before their thing that can happen. Our destinies are interlinked for a reason. Like God didn't flop on that part. It was made so. If we do not live out our destinies, we hold up.

other people's destinies. So if we are truly thinking about being of service and being of service not just to ourselves but to the world, then it's important for us to boldly, courageously live in our truth because somebody else's life depends on it.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (23:12.291)
I love that. And listen, no truer words have been said that we are all connected. I'm in Houston, Texas. You're in London. We are still connected. We talked about doing, looking at doing other things together. Other the destinies. Um, and I love the way you place that, like that person, that actress can't get their time. If the person that needs to write the script is so worried that it's not perfect.

kelechi (23:18.132)
Mm.

kelechi (23:26.987)
Yes.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (23:41.207)
And that, well, what if they reject it? All of the things get, listen, um, men and women, but my audience is definitely predominantly women do the thing you're assigned to do. Do it scared, do it. Um, and it's we're not looking at perfection. Deliver excellence. Excellence is doing the best you have with what you have right where you are. Do that part. If we take the steps, then

kelechi (23:59.113)
No.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:10.159)
the journey is going to bring us the other people we need to make the improvements. Like if we it's just moving past fear to take that first step and your journey. You wrote the post about Muhammad Ali and then that platform deleted it. I'm going to start a podcast, the decline of proper twerking classes. No.

kelechi (24:32.289)
Mm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (24:39.035)
I'm opening a studio, right? I love that you're sharing with us how someone else's no means, okay, that's a no for you. That doesn't mean that's a no for me and to keep going because these different things you've done, the pole dancing studio, the podcast have led and touched so many other people in your lifetime that if you had not done it, what, what would those people be? Where would they be?

kelechi (25:08.822)
Where would they be? Where would they be? And realizing how much people, like so many people stopped me in the street on the daily basis saying how much the podcast means to them, how much my videos on social media mean to them, how much my, you know, just my general posts across social media through the years, how much it means to them. And I never thought that this was what I was meant to do. My, if you asked me to write out my plan, my destiny, it was like, yeah, feeling cute, gonna be a famous actress, thanks so much, done.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (25:28.965)
Right.

kelechi (25:37.002)
But those skills are transferable. Those same skills, you know, you act on stage, that means you can do public speaking. And so that public speaking aspect of it is what I'm then using, you know, the quick wit, the humor, the memory, because with the scripts, you have to remember things, you have to memorize. So that means I memorize a lot of dates, facts before going on the news to say certain things. Facting requires you sometimes to improvise. So sometimes you go on the news to go and talk about something, they put someone wayward as your opposition.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (25:43.003)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (25:49.405)
Yes.

kelechi (26:07.118)
to debate with you, you have to know how to pivot, you have to know how to quickly pick up what they're trying to throw down and you keep it moving because you have to arrive at your point, right? So looking at how, what I thought I was gonna do, I was looking at the seed of the thing, not knowing what was programmed into the seed and what that seed would then go on to be, right? I'm just seeing a seed, it goes into the soil, done, that's me done, not thinking about what tree that is growing on, growing.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (26:22.652)
Okay.

kelechi (26:36.334)
to then be and ultimately I'm learning all of the time because I often forget that rejection is redirection. It's redirecting us back to self, it's redirecting us back to purpose, it's redirecting us back to source. And oftentimes I would forget that. I still forget that now, something I don't book a job and I'm like, and I'm going off, I'm fuming. But then I have that moment of stillness and I think, but I have not been failed yet. Every point.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (26:44.336)
Yeah.

kelechi (27:05.694)
you know, I look at what happens, I go and do the next thing and the next thing. And then what I have is much better than what I thought I should have.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (27:14.127)
Yeah, I love that. That is, that is a, a perfect wrap to say the maving quote of I call, there's a quote I use that says go BAM, which stands for bust a move, do your thing. Again, you're going to do it with flaws. You're going to do it imperfectly. Um, sometimes you're going to redo it. There's a U-turn around about all of the things. There is nothing, any of us, um, that people look at.

kelechi (27:30.014)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (27:43.239)
that follow that say you're the successful one. There's nothing we produce created that has been perfect. That has been without some pain, some growth, uncomfortableness, all of the things. But that is the power of within us to keep going and to never let the outside voices say you're not capable. You can't do it. Um, because we need, we need more collection. We need more myras in the world.

kelechi (27:59.534)
Mm-hmm.

kelechi (28:05.567)
Yeah.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (28:13.307)
And ladies, if that's you, we're waiting for you. When someone's waiting for what you have, someone's waiting for you to write the book, to write the script, to do the talk, to send the email to whatever it is. So when you see this video, wherever you are in your journey, use it as encouragement to say what the seed I have is not just for me. This is

This is something being planted to grow into something much bigger. And someone's waiting for the gift that I have. And listen, I, when my friend told me that 10 years ago at this point, it felt like the biggest weight ever. And I looked at her like, why would you say that? She just said, imagine if you're not doing what you're doing, how many women you're holding up? And I wanted to fold inward, like, and now it's my reminder when I'm tired.

kelechi (29:05.706)
Mm.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:09.243)
When I'm frustrated, when I get the know that, yes, I can rest, I can regather, but I absolutely cannot quit because someone's waiting for me to do what I'm supposed to do so they can go do what they're supposed to do. So listen, grace to you all the way in London to keep doing the amazing things you're doing. If I'm in London, we're definitely going to connect in person. If you're in Houston, uh, we'll need to connect. Have you been to Houston?

kelechi (29:19.301)
Mmm.

kelechi (29:33.258)
Yes?

kelechi (29:38.362)
No, but one of my best friends from high school, she lives in Katie now, so I absolutely have to come through.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:43.495)
Girl, I live about 10 minutes from Katie.

kelechi (29:47.914)
Woo! Ha ha ha!

'Maven' Miara Shaw (29:51.219)
There it is. Well, you're gonna have to come see the best friend, Katie. We will all have to connect, because literally, we're like literally in Northwest Houston and that's 10 minutes or so from Katie. Yes, love it. Listen, thank you so much for joining Maven Nation today and sharing your beautiful insight. Again, I just love the undertone of all that you're doing of empowering others and letting them see their light and using their voice to also be leaders.

kelechi (29:54.506)
Yes.

kelechi (30:02.098)
Perfect.

'Maven' Miara Shaw (30:19.139)
So Mava Nation until next time, keep doing your BAM thing.

Check out  Kalechi’s resources mentioned in the episode!


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