As leaders, we are bound to cross paths with a variety of personalities, ideas, and perspectives. While this diversity is a beautiful part of leadership, it can also present a challenge: not everyone we meet is meant to stay in our circle. And guess what? That’s perfectly okay! Learning to recognize when someone is not your people doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them—or you. It simply means you are navigating your leadership journey with intentionality, listening to your intuition, and curating the right connections.
“I am not for everyone and everyone is not for me.” ~ ‘Maven’ Miara
Trusting Your Intuition
One of the most powerful tools we have as leaders is our intuition. Sometimes, our gut feeling tells us that someone doesn’t quite fit into our vision, goals, or values. This doesn’t make them “bad” or “less than”—it just means they aren’t aligned with where you’re heading.
I’ve had my fair share of moments where I felt that internal nudge. You know the one: that soft whisper that says, “This isn’t quite the right fit” or “Girl run!” In the past, I’d brush it off, convincing myself that I could make this relationship work because, as leaders, aren’t we supposed to be adaptable and inclusive? Maven, I quickly learned that forcing connections out of obligation or fear of hurting feelings only leaves everyone drained and frustrated. I’m not here for it.
Not Everyone Is for You—And That’s a Good Thing!
It’s liberating when you finally accept that you don’t need to resonate with everyone you meet. The truth is, that trying to include everyone in your circle dilutes your focus and energy. As leaders, we need people around us who challenge us in positive ways, lift us when we’re down, and understand our vision. These people bring out the best in us, and we do the same for them.
When you spend too much time with those who aren’t aligned with your mission, you may find yourself questioning your goals, energy, and purpose. It’s not about cutting people off or ghosting them (please don’t use this tactic as grown women), but rather realizing that you both deserve circles that encourage growth in the best way possible. Das it!
Leave People Better Than You Found Them
Here’s the key takeaway: just because someone isn’t your “people” doesn’t mean you leave them worse off. In fact, one of the hallmarks of effective leadership is ensuring that everyone you encounter leaves your presence in a better state. Maybe that means giving them honest, respectful feedback, providing a resource they need, or simply letting them know that they are appreciated, even if they’re not part of your core circle.
You never know what seeds of encouragement, wisdom, or support you’re planting in someone’s life, and even when parting ways, you can do so with grace and goodwill. It’s not about creating enemies or causing divisions but about acknowledging the unique paths we each must take.
Keep Searching for Your People
The beautiful part of understanding who isn’t your people is that it clarifies who is. When you honor your intuition and clear space, it makes room for authentic, mutually beneficial relationships to come into your life. You’ll start to attract people who understand your vision and share your values. These are the people who will stand with you through challenges and celebrate your victories genuinely. They are your people, and they will make your leadership journey richer and more fulfilling.
So, keep seeking. Keep meeting new people, engaging in conversations, and learning about others’ experiences. But remember that not everyone needs to stay. Trust that your people are out there, and when they arrive, you’ll recognize them by how they make you feel—energized, supported, and understood. On my podcast episode 28, I share “How Leaders Cultivate Savvy Networks Through Relationship Building” which gives you more insight on building YOUR network.
Another fantastic resource I’m currently diving into is the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Desire by Alison Fragale, PhD. It’s a practical, fun-to-read playbook designed for women—and our allies—who want to excel in the workplace while embracing their full power. Packed with valuable tips, tricks, and strategies, this book offers guidance on building the confidence we sometimes find elusive. If you’re looking to level up, this is definitely a must-read!
Leadership is as much about connecting with others as it is about knowing who not to connect with. When you trust your intuition and allow yourself to release those who aren’t aligned with your purpose, you’ll step into greater clarity and strength as a leader and avoid the extra drama!
And always, always strive to leave people better than you found them. The world needs more leaders who uplift, even when they part ways. I hope you have the desire, courage, and capacity to be that leader.
